“Spaghetti’Os again I guess”, Geoff thought to himself as he scanned the contents of the grocery store shelf. The small basket he carried with him betrayed his bachelor status. Mac and cheese, a small package of ground meat, and several other canned goods half filled the basket. After several more seconds of mulling, a few cans of Spaghetti’Os joined the other contents.
Despite having a pretty decent job, with which he could buy higher quality items, the cheaper easier to fix products won out on Geoff. He wasn’t much of a cook, and why go to so much trouble just for himself. The simple truth was that the quantity and quality of the food he was buying had nothing to do with why he was shopping at SHOP - 4 - LESS. He could far easier, and to some extent prefer to, just order out every night.
No, there was another reason for Geoff to be shopping at SHOP - 4 - LESS, most notably, the tall redhead who worked the register. It seemed to Geoff as though she worked every night, his preferred time to shop the normally packed store. This was not to take anything away from the few other night shift workers, especially the women, who were all very attractive and extremely polite. It was somewhat odd that a store would offer, twenty-four hours a day, all of the services, such as bakery, deli, and meat counters, which other stores would normally close early in the evening.
Satisfied with the final assortment in his basket, Geoff started down the isle towards the main objective of his shopping trip. Turning the corner he saw her. A pleasant smile was on her face as she patiently awaited her next customer. He looked down at the nametag pinned just above her lovely left breast and read it again for perhaps the thousandth time. It read “DEANNA.”
“Hello, welcome to SHOP - 4 - LESS.”, she began as Geoff placed his small basket on the short conveyor. He had, for some time, considered how odd it was that she always said the same thing the same way every time he saw her. Geoff quickly came to the realization that he was staring.
“Hi.”, he quickly replied. Deanna gave him another big smile and a blink of her eyes that nearly stopped his heart. She reached into the basket and began to run the various items over the bar code scanner.
Normally Geoff didn’t care about what his final bill would be, so he never really paid any attention to the display of the items being rung up. This time, however, to avoid staring at the beautiful checkout girl, he intently focused on the display. The third item she scanned, a can of Spaghetti’Os, rang up for what was obviously an incorrect amount. Geoff was certain that the price that came up was at least five times the shelf price. The next item, another can, rang up for a different, but no less ridiculous amount.
“Excuse me.”, Geoff quickly said. Deanna stopped immediately and turned to look at her customer. Those big brown eyes locked with his.
“Yes?”, she asked in a meek voice. Her head tilted slightly to the right. Geoff almost wanted to just forget the whole thing and pay the bill, whatever it was.
“Umm… I don’t think that the computer rang up those cans of Spaghetti’Os correctly.”, he replied gingerly not wanting to cause her any kind of problem.
“Oh.”, she said, her head coming up and slightly tilting to the other side. “Let me check.”
She put down the next item she had in her hand and started to type on the keyboard attached to her register. Geoff was starting to feel very odd. He was also beginning to wish he hadn’t said a word. Not only was there something apparently wrong with the store’s computers, but Deanna seemed to be acting incredibly strange too.
“Hello, welcome to SHOP - 4 - LESS.”, Deanna said as she stopped typing and turned back to Geoff. A muffled pop and sizzling sound accompanied her words. He was totally dumbfounded. He couldn’t begin to imagine what was going on.
“Are you alright?”, he asked the girl tentatively.
“Hello, w…w…w…welcome to SHOP - 4 - LESS.”, she said again, stuttering slightly that time. Deanna turned back to her keyboard and began to type again. Her movements were now very stiff and deliberate rather than smooth and fluid.
“Umm…”, Geoff let out utterly confused by the situation.
“Error… error…”, Deanna blurted out in a monotone. “Connection with main computer lost.”
And then the realization of what was occurring in front of him came to Geoff. The object of his lust, the lovely redhead that he purposely came to see when he went shopping was a machine, a robot. Although he was not sure what to do, would someone come to help her, Geoff found himself strangely intrigued by the new developments.
In the past several seconds, Deanna had seemed to have calmed down. She now stood quietly, except for the odd sizzling sound, with her arms perfectly at her side and her eyes staring straight-ahead facing the register.
“Deanna?”, Geoff asked cautiously. She wheeled slowly like a soldier at attention to face him.
“Awaiting instructions.”, the mechanical girl said plainly.
“Take off your smock.”, he told her, seizing the moment.
Her hands slowly moved up to begin unbuttoning the garment. Geoff swung his head wildly about to make sure no one was looking at him and his mischievousness. The smock fell to the floor revealing an ample pair of breasts in a white satin bra.
“Now the bra.”, he said at a near whisper.
With mechanical precision the robotic woman reached behind her back and undid the clasp of the bra. The artificial woman’s lovely breasts with their pert nipples were exposed in all their glory when the bra fell onto the bar code scanner.
“Deanna, what’s wrong with you?”, Geoff asked the robot as he reached out his left hand and began to knead her right breast.
“I… I… I… am exxxxxxxxxxperiencing a severe malfunction.”, she began with some trouble. “The mmmmain computer has gone offline. Be… be… be… fore it did it sent an amount of data to this unit. Mmmmmmmy processors are… are… are… unable to handle all the data.”
As she explained her predicament, Geoff had walked around the counter and come up behind her. The mechanical girl spoke the entire time to where Geoff had been standing.
“Are the other ‘employees’ similarly effected?”, he asked.
“Unnnnknown.”, she blandly replied. Even as she was responding, Geoff had already looked up one of the isles and noticed that a ‘male employee’ was standing ramrod erect at attention.
“Well, I guess that’s my answer.”, Geoff said to himself. Seizing the initiative, he pulled down the zipper of the android girl’s tight black pants.
“Sir! What are you doing?”, Deanna began in her original pleasant voice. “I am nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnot…”, a louder pop from inside of her signaled the end of her sentence.
Geoff could no longer contain himself. He released himself and entered the artificial girl from behind.
“Error… Error.”, Deanna said in a digitized monotone, the ever present sizzling growing louder. “I… cannnnnnnnnot… error… malfunction… plllllllleeeeaaassee… no… no… no… error.”
Geoff continued his assault, the android’s malfunction making him that much more eager. He exploded inside her as she spoke her final words: “Can… can… can… cannot process. Error. I… am… ex…pe…rienc…ing… a… cri… tical… mal… func… tion… Eeeeeeerrrrrrrroooooooorrrrrrrr.”